Hey! Its 8:33 p.m! Good Evening folks & Surprise! You normally wouldn’t see me blogging at this late hour. Ha ha, I know, I am certainly an early bird. And obviously, old and quite scheduled. <shudders>… Truth is, I love to write in my quietness. My mornings are serene and my best times to share. My time to meditate, pray and reflect. I was super excited to grab my busy computer graphic designer daughter and have her update a few things on this ever loving, merciful blog of mine. After all, she gifted this webpage to me, a few mother’s day’s ago, and designed my very first blog page. I am eternally grateful to her for her thoughtfulness and love. She supports me and encourages me to write, and create. We love to hang and design, create, cook, bake, spa, & shop. A girl after her Mother’s heart. She is truly a blessing and joy to my soul. I love you Danielle <3.
I finally caved in and updated my picture and profile info and linked my Pinterest page. I am so behind the 8 ball lately, if you read me, I am sure you understand why. I am daily healing with God’s love, I am breathing and functioning better, slowly and lovingly. Believe it or not, for me, it is still surreal seeing the “new” leelee. I feel good. I feel healthy, but, I don’t always visually see that. A lifetime of poor self image I suppose, I’m working on it. Today, I am gentle with myself, my body and my mind.
It is Palm Sunday. The church service was beautiful and uplifting. I attended with a good friend. The snow melted in clumps, sparkling and disintegrating into the soil. The sun rose and itwas shining so bright. I needed to hear the sermon, the message. I needed to pray. I listened to the gospel, and how he bravely died for us. He died for me, so I could believe and live in him. I lit candles for my loved ones. I spoke to our priest quietly outside in the bright sun. I shared my loss and asked for prayers and healing for my family. He anointed me, and prayed for my brother and family, then…. he hugged me. I felt blessed, renewed, protected for a moment. Thanks be to God.
I am blessed today. Grasping & desperate for an ounce, a droplet of gratitude and peace. This is healing in itself. Giving my sorrow to Jesus, and asking our Blessed Mother Mary to carry my burden and lighten my heart and protect my children and family. I am sending positive energies into my universe. I am opening my heart to God and praying he guides and protects us. My parish is having a beach service at sunrise on Easter Sunday. I feel this will be my gift to myself this Easter. My heart can not bear the thought of not sharing it with my brother Thomas this year. That had been our tradition for the last 5 years and I miss him terribly. I feel closer to him when I connect with God. Therefore, I will.
I also had an interesting experience this weekend. I went to a fire department fundraiser. They had a psychic medium host for the evening. I was curious, and a friend asked if I would like join along. I sat directly in front of this man. Hoping he would notice me, my family would channel him to me. He chose the guy behind me, who choked and said “pass”, so, I grabbed the mic and I asked one question. Who was there, when my brother crossed. He thought, smiled and answered. He is surrounded now, by loved ones, they are all around and with him now. He is with his father. He closes his eyes and just says…”total peace”. My heart warmed. He comments that things are “Ok” now with your other brother, and he listens and meditates and states, your brother doesn’t want to “talk”, he is quiet your brother. He closes his eyes again and then says…Nothing or no one could have ever changed his decision. That was powerful for me, I felt it. I certainly felt the message, whether it was channeled or made up. I figured out, for myself, it really didn’t matter, because, all I ever wanted to hear, from the moment Tom died, but more importantly, I needed to make peace in my heart, and believe in my soul, that Thomas had achieved “total peace”. An hour later, I won a raffle. It was a beautiful angel bracelet and matching angel earrings. Handmade, of porcelain and crystals. Talk about a sign….Thank you Thomas <3. I love you eternally.
I spent the rest of today outside in the fresh, crisp, spring air, soaking up our beautiful world. Grateful to have a few hours to reflect and move around some rocks. What can I say, it’s the little things, for real. I dug in the dirt and puttered around, noticing the tulips and iris budding and bursting through the snow. Renewal, Amen. I felt a comfort, a peace within my heart, I believe it is the Grace of God. He has risen, again.
Blessings ~ leelee