life, the one that guarantees change
I sit in silence, just the hum of the fridge and a passing good morning greeting and rub from our kitty Lila. Today, I will be brave. Today, I will send all of my eternal love and joy to my daughter. She and her new husband will start their new adventure and life and move to Madrid. Yes, Spain…. It all seemed to happen so quickly. They met 2 years ago and fell head over heels for one another. My heart soared as I watched her romance and love deepen for him. I know what a kind, patient and loving man he is. They quietly married last month and her husband took a position in Madrid for 2 years. In a blink…life changes. In fact, this solidifies the merry go round of life. It forever evolves and changes. He has travelled in his career all over the globe. He is used to acclimating to different cultures and countries. My daughter will experience a new culture and continent. I trust that they will take care of each other and live their lives to the fullest. I know this experience will make her grow and mature and enrich her life. She, is my baby. She is my only daughter. I have never been separated from her for more than a few months during her college years. She attended a university less than 2 hours from our home. This is quite different. The miles are wider, but, my love remains and deepens.
After all, our family has suffered enough tragedy and loss. She lost a brother. She once told me… Mom, the one thing we have learned is to adapt. How true that is. She makes me proud everyday. A shy little girl, wise beyond her years. I watched her blossom and grow and mature. I watched her set goals and Ace them. I watched her grow into a vibrant woman. She had abit of bossiness as a toddler. She held her ground and spoke her mind. She has not lost that trait at All! But, her heart and her soul, remains pure and true. She is a feminist, a millennial. She has taught me a lot about equality. She will protect and fight fiercely for what she believes in. She at times, is my best friend. She knows, I dreamed about her when I was just a young girl. I had a Mother who adored me and loved me unconditionally. I try to be that Mom to her. I encourage and support her dreams. I believe and trust in her.
I’ve learned a few things over the years. Patience is a virtue. It develops over time. Change will happen. Even when you least expect it. The main thought and lesson in all of this….It is HOW you Deal with it. How you react to it. We, are forever evolving and growing. We can stop in our tracks and adjust, repent, repeat or we can let go. None of this is easy. In fact, if you fight it, it will bite you back hard. SO go with it. Learn to take deep breaths and reflect. I’ve always had tools to help me cope with change. This blog, my writing, my meditation and my spirituality. I turn to God and I believe he will protect her and guide her in her new role and her new journey. I ask him too.
I reach out to others who have had a child leave the nest and I listen.
I told my daughter… I will cry for 30 days and 30 nights…I make no excuses. I don’t hold in my feelings. Life is way too short and unpredictable for that. I tell her everyday….I love you. Because,it matters. Because, she matters. She is my sweet strawberry blonde, fair of skin, with peachy blushed cheeks babygirl. She will always be that to me. My love, easily crosses any ocean and continent. In fact, it deepens inside as the miles separate us.
I will travel to Italy in the Spring and see her marry the man of her dreams. I will be by her side, no matter where she sleeps. I will be her biggest fan, her confidante and my most proud role in my life, Her Mama.
When she was a baby, she called me Mama. She just did it on her own. I treasure that. I treasure all the memories she has given me. She was quick on her feet. Walking at 10 months! She asked for “French Toast Please” at a year old. She was alittle old soul in a 2 foot body. I adore you Danielle. I cherish every moment of joy you have given me. You still continue to fill my soul with your precious love and light.
Always remember…You are Enough. (Maybe even alil Extra! ummm for sure!) Most of all, I support you and will always be here for you. Through thick and thin. No matter how many miles separate us now.. I am right beside you, Always <3. Remember…that Joy blooms inside your beautiful heart. Let it out, discover all you can. Go for it! Be spontaneous and filled with love….trust in yourself. Believe in your dreams. Awake each day and embrace the beautiful life you have chosen. You will have no regrets if you live it all to the fullest. I encourage you to take deep breaths and remember to not overthink…just take it like Mama does
One Day at a Time
God, I love you…my sweet DD….forever & to the moon & back