So… it’s been a minute!
Ummmm… Well! Hello Blog land! Oh, I have been admiring you from afar. Waiting for the moment that I can stop and write. Truth is, I read a whole bunch of blogs and busy my mornings with exploring the podcast world. I think I am missing out on sharing my heart, hope & adventures! I should SO be starting my own podcast. I mean, seriously, I can talk and talk about anything & everything. I have a lot to share & I must look further into this! I hope this post finds you smiling. A beautiful, dreamy summer on Long Island. I never want them to end. But, secretly our Autumn/Fall is just as spectacular. A cool breeze & cooler temps snuck up and I heard and saw 100 school buses around town yesterday. The routine, the grind, has returned. I love glancing at the first day of school pics and smiling parents. Memories, they always float back. Just the other day, I passed my sons elementary school and remembered the funniest, sweetest memory. His class was presenting their laminated fathers day project to their class and the parents. Michael was in first grade, maybe 5 years old. His project was a large 11×14 poster that read “Me & My Dad LOVE to shoot off fireworks”. I remember, being stunned. What will the other parents think??? He drew a tiny little picture of him and his Dad lighting off a firework! I still giggle when I think of his honesty and totally, innocently bragging about his irresponsible Dad’s hobby. Priceless.
And now.. some much needed overdue Catch Up!:
Beautiful moments: So…. A couple of weeks ago, another bucket list & my lifelong dream happened. My daughter flew home from Madrid and we hosted a beautiful, elegant wedding and reception for our families. A picture perfect wedding day, brilliant sunshine & breezes and 100 of our family & friends gathered to celebrate her love. The food & drinks & laughter….simply amazing. I glided through the day, with Joy in my heart and watching her sparkle. I had a few private, special moments and stared at her flawless beauty. Watching my baby girl grow, blossom, fall in love….& relocate & live her new life married! to say the least… is very humbling. She was so calm and graceful. My little girl and a grown woman in one. She is living proof that life indeed moves forward. She propels us forward and shows us the light, here, now in the present. Life… indeed, it marches on fiercely. Our only daughter. I dreamed of giving you a fairytale wedding. I prayed you would meet a kind, gentle, loving soul & mate. I wrote a speech for her. I wrote from my heart. A heart that now holds a grateful space. A heart that was once shattered and bleeding…broke into a million pieces…that is mending, gently healing and compelled to still love & give. My journey through grief and rebuilding my new life. In my letter, I shared my dreams with her. I spoke about her brother smiling down and so happy for her. I dreamed of him several times that week. I missed him immensely as well. I had a few moments, missing my granddaughter, missing my son, my parents. I’ve learned how to honor them and connect to them in my spiritual, meditative practices. I do it often and I find my peace within. It’s a practice and there is no end game, just survival.
The day after her wedding, my daughter was feeling a rush of emotions. All that planning, effort, worry, details! Details! Stress & Anxiety…lalala! And of course Poof, & it’s all over so fast. It all went off splendidly. She sits on my chaise and shares her heart and then she says… I missed Mikey.. and I said quietly, I missed him too. We all have our sorrow and crosses to bear. It’s nice to hear that someone is thinking of him and loving him still….Grief is hard. It’s imperative that you talk about it, cry about it and honor them daily.
She has returned to Spain. I am teary for a few days…empty nest and all. I have returned to my gardens and Yoga and following butterflies and photographing the sheer beauty of Long Island. I love to volunteer and craft these days…I write a lot. My first book is almost finished. The next chapter of my life begins to unfold. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time. So unpredictable.. yet, it is nice to embrace “more”.
I am happy to have celebrated this beautiful couple. May they continue to explore the world, and love each other no matter what. The last thing I told them was to practice PATIENCE….it goes along way.
Nice to check in and catch up with ya’ll. I am off to tend to my gardens and flowers.