Love, & other things….

Good morning to you. It has been a whirlwind week of crazy. I barely can stop any of it. This is life, this is hard. I’m trying to run faster than a freight train and in the midst of the madness! My laptop black screens. Shrugs, not a lot one can do. I did get it to reboot once and I will admit it was not running great for awhile. I believe I backed up a lot of my personal pictures and video’s. I did that a month or so ago when my niece asked me for a picture of her and her Dad. I started to search for one and I transferred a ton of photo’s onto a stick. I haven’t had the energy to deal with that yet. I am kinda glad I saved a bunch of stuff. When someone dies, stuff becomes very cherished and for me, it brings me great comfort.  I have a project in mind, it may take me a year to put it all together, it is something I look forward too, yet I am not ready to create just yet.  So, today is designated as V day, Love day, romance and all that fiasco. My husband is thoughtful, and he has always acknowledges every little holiday. He was sweet and bought me treats and a gift certificate to my favorite spa. Delightful, thoughtful.  I open his card, and I hesitated to share this intimate moment, thought. It reads… Sometimes I just don’t have the words to tell you what I’m feeling. Sometimes, I lose touch with what you need from me….

I wish it weren’t true. I have spent 36 Valentine’s with a man who doesn’t know the words or what I need….. I am sad.   The card continues inside to reaffirm he loves me and cares for me and then the last line reads …”.More than anything else, I want you to feel loved.” Ok?  thanks?

But, honestly, isn’t it a bit comical? Just based on the entire lame Epic Fail – husband card. I want to thank Hallmark, for putting it out there?  Again, I don’t write this blog to humiliate my husband, but obviously, I just did.  I apologize. I know he doesn’t read this, but he knows I write a blog. He is a good provider, a hard worker, a helper, a giver to his children, who are his entire world and life’s purpose. He has the same job for 30 years, he shows up and puts up and has never left my side. We both have had severe losses and tragic deaths in the last 3 years, it has taken it’s toll on us both. I’ve learned the harshest way that life is a gift. Each day is. Tomorrow is not for certain. We have been through hell and have had some really bad days recently. Communication is key for any relationship.  We are working on it, hanging tough. I planned a surprise vacation for his birthday in April, I hope he comes.   A little getaway to the tropics and stay at a beach house and let the sun and the waves and his divine glory heal us and renew us. See, I have the “words”…as he has often told me, I always have the words. Maybe he will follow his heart for once and join me. In the meanwhile, I take it all One Day At A Time.