a secret triumph

Good morning folks. Tis Friday, happy dance, well its like 4 degree’s. Hello February! We still have 3 feet of ice, and the high might be 20 today, but I have learned how to layer! Speaking of “layering”. One of the first things I noticed as I was dropping weight is your blood thins so fast and you suddenly discover what “cold” feels like. I spent most of my adult life, either too hot or overheated or not enough AC, fans blowing. I was all about air flow.  The heavier I got, the more hot, overheated I would get. It was hard to tolerate. Today, I decided to check my weight loss progress. I have reached a personal goal. 100 lbs lighter. Yep, it’s true, I secretly never thought I would get there. I mean, 100 lbs, I am not even sure I deemed myself worthy of that number! Imagine my joy when I stepped on the scale and saw that number. I stared at it for a second, peered closer, just to double check I wasn’t seeing it wrong. Then I wept. A secret goal I had set a year or so ago. At first, I stressed myself out about obtaining that within 12 months. I have learned to be really gentle on myself and let the process happen naturally. I giggled to myself afterwards, you don’t need a scale Leelee, you need to throw those size 18 jeans away!So I thought, when you write a post, you should title it, “she knows by her jeans” (Doesn’t every woman really??)Sometimes, “this” is  Unreal, I am in awe. Whose doing this? Not the old Leelee, that’s for sure! When you live in a fat girls body your entire life, this is all quite new. I still think, cook like I am marathon eating? Again, I am gentle on myself. That mindset is quite embedded.  I celebrate inwardly. I am so grateful and rejoice in thanking Jesus for guiding me. A journey, the process, you can’t rush it, just like anything in life, you chip away, you pray daily, you make the effort and put your nutrition and health first. A new concept perhaps, but no doubt, the right one. I know the scale doesn’t lie. Why is it so hard for me to say, YOU did this? This is Your moment? I am going to chalk that up to being a giver, a giver of life. I celebrate and rejoice in other people’s successes and triumphs. Then it dawned on me. I’ve never felt successful. Worthy. Perhaps because I had never truly had it….that is….Not until today.  #loveyourselfandtherestwillfollow. love & peace ~ leelee

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