April arrives and we Rise!
Good Morning my friends. I am tickled pink that I slept an amazingly, long & restful sleep. I had a busy week at work. I am grateful each day that I can be productive. The distraction has been a blessing. It allows me to focus on work related things. It is helping my brain heal. My job makes the day go quickly and sort of keeps me in line these days. I’m not going to b.s., I still have days, moments, where I feel like shutting off my world, my brain, my grieving heart. I want to simply curl up on the couch and watch mindless reality TV, and not deal. But, I don’t. I push myself. Some days, I just want someone to hold me and listen to my heart and understand it.
I hosted a dinner this week for my niece and my adorable great niece. They colored eggs and we hid them and she smiled like the sun. A joy and a beautiful child. She is 3 now, soon to be 4. Her mom and I talked about how she will only remember her grandfather, perhaps only through pictures and video’s. My niece has suffered greatly since her father’s death. I feel protective of them maternally. I am proud of her, a single mom, struggling to make ends meet and now this loss, it burdens my heart. I gave her a canvas of her Dad & her daughter. She cried and told me, it was still too painful to hang it yet. I understood and my heart broke. He will be greatly missed tomorrow. I do not feel the need to celebrate this year. I will attend a sunrise Mass at the lake. I will listen and praise and thank God and be grateful for this beautiful life. I will be missing my brother Thomas. We all will, miss him.
Though my heart is heavy, and grieving, I still see beauty all around me. I make a point of visually finding it each day. Either through a quote or a picture or a video or simply driving by the stables on the way to work. Beauty is all around us, you just have to pause and seek it. My daughter and I decided we wanted to cultivate and grow sunflowers. So, I splurged over @ BURPEE Seeds and bought a variety to grow. I had a vision the other day. Perhaps, I can plant some here and there. In the woods or by the church or lake and make someone smile and spread a little love around.
More and more I realize. We Rise by Lifting Others~……
May I wish you all a healthy, warm and blessed Easter & Passover. May you all enjoy a moment, a day with your loved ones. Remember to embrace and tell them how they fill your heart and how much you love them. Peace & Blessings ~ leelee