Good Morning from rainy, snowy, slushy New York. We had a good storm last week. The temps stayed pretty cold so we kept the 2 feet of snow all week. I awoke this morning to a rather slushy, icy mess. All week the forecasters are yapping out numbers, 6-10 inches, a foot more up near Boston. Today, the weather people are chiding its more than likely just going to Rain! Again, why stress? I’ve come to the conclusion, weather patterns are like women, we change our minds in a blink! HA! So…., I take this all in stride. Like I told one of my managers who lives down south last week. “this is what we do, in New York”. I don’t stress much over weather. We glided into February yesterday, Super Bowl Sunday. I had my little Granddaughter for the day, and she is the light and the hope in my heart these days. She is such a peaceful, loving soul. She seems content most of the time and holding her and loving her is like holding a twinkling star. She is indeed One Month Old now! thriving and more alert each day. Her Mom & Dad look exhausted! I keep reassuring them, as soon as the little one hits 10 or 11 lbs, you will see a different baby! They kind of look at me abit crazy, but Nana knows the magic number! Thank you Lord for blessing us with this perfect angel. My brother Thomas, did not get to meet my Granddaughter, but he certainly knew she had arrived. I shared a picture with him at his son’s birthday party and he wasn’t quite “present” in that moment, he managed a smile and stared at her picture, but he had no words. I remember feeling a little put out, kind of hurt that he didn’t make a big deal about it. I remember thinking, he seems abit “out” of it to myself. When I reflect on the past few months, I am very sad. I suppose he was quietly and secretly suffering a multitude of sadness and depression and despair. Why he chose to hide it and not tell a soul, is something I can never really understand. Pride and secrecy, a lethal dose and blow. My brother’s wife and Granddaughter visited over this weekend to meet Anna Lisa. My great Niece Callie 3 1/2 yrs old, is such a beautiful, healthy, smart girl. She played and giggled all day and baked with my daughter and held Anna Lisa on her lap and bonded with her baby cousin. Our family is coping, good days and bad. We are staying close and in contact with each other, grieving in our own ways, this is not easy, didn’t think it would be, but I try and be present. I allow myself to cry and pray whenever those moments come and they come often still. I dreamt of Thomas this morning. A brief, solemn moment. He walked into the house and asked to go upstairs to the attic. I can’t quite place where we were, I was with my brother Michael & I can’t recall who also was in the dream. I just remember him slowly ascending up a stairway. I awoke, feeling that is where he was headed….up to heaven, away from pain and suffering. He was calm and quiet, very much the same way he had been for months before he died. I was sad and glad in the same moment. I got a glimpse of my brother, but yet, we didn’t speak. Losing anyone is painful. Losing a sibling, devastating. Losing my brother at 55, tragic. Life hurts sometimes, but Love is everlasting and eternal. I meditate and pray everyday, I pray for everyone I love who is suffering and loved my brother Thomas. The sadness rises and falls with each hour. I miss him. I hold onto hope and faith. This is all we really have. Yet, the world still spins and life continues in slow motion as we grieve and accept his death. I continue to ask for prayers for our family.