In my gardens…. & closets…

Hey There! It’s Monday!!!, as I spring out of bed this morning. It’s still dark and the birds aren’t up chirping.. errr, extreme uhhh… VERY early morning. The funny thing is, I fell asleep on the couch last night super early and I slept well last night. Lately, I’ve had a few nights of broken sleeps. A neck crick, migraine, getting old sucks, it’s TRUE. Leelee was a tired buckaroo. Truth: I am a true lover of deep sleeps, long naps and all that jazz. So when I arise before the birds, I decide to seize the moment! Here’s The upside of my pre dawn awakenings… I get a lot of shit done. I mean like epic organizing projects. Cleaning out every closet, nook, storage rooms, clothes, you name it. Marie Kondo, I am making you proud. I will admit a few things. It does feel lighter around here with less “stuff”. I have been patient and diligent in decluttering my home of 23 years of accumulations and heirlooms and storage. Truth: I love junk. I always have. I call them my treasures. So, for a buck or two, I get crazy happy. It’s momentary. I’m aware and I’m ok with all of it. I am slowly learning to part with things that do not spark Joy… Thank you Marie. I am being gentle and also loving my cool donations and repurposing. We did a yard sale and apparently no one wants my “treasures”, oh well! lol. I have several non profit organizations and my church that benefit from donating usable items to them. This has given me comfort along the way, passing it on to someone who can use it. My world is calmer and less cluttered and hectic these days. I have learned to be truly in the moment. I drink it in. I allow peace and self love and deep meditation to guide me. Letting go of “objects” material items is a stepping stone. It is allowing me space to breathe and relax. I create beautiful gifts and displays and memory boxes with all my precious photos, momentos, favors from my daughters recent wedding. I’ve enjoyed this project so much. I am grateful and joyful for everything we shared together. It’s inspiring to once again collect beautiful moments.

My newest project is preserving/drying flowers. My crafty daughter preserved tons of her flowers and petals from her wedding. I also started to add flowers from my own gardens and enjoyed using them in various projects. My gardens were full of blooms and I found so much love and joy in saving them. Some flowers preserve and look fresh! That silicone is amazing stuff!

I snuck outside to pick the last of my tomatoes. The big blue jay bird has been stabbing them and nibbling the juice out of the red ripe ones! I am on to him and pick them a few days early and save them from his beak! They are super sweet and delicious. It reminds me of Italy…so darn good.

My sunflowers keep giving me sweet little gifts. I picked a bouquet for the house (sunset and brandywine varieties) and inside, I smile with love. Two little seeds…and 20 beautiful blooms. Thankful for the little things. God’s creations.

My Mom’s rose garden. We planted roses together there 10 years ago. I inherited a few from the previous owner. She told me that the wedding white rose was 100 years old & from her Grandfather. It blooms the most beautiful, pure white roses I’ve ever seen. The perfume pink blush rose… my Mom bought for me in Greenport. She gives me stunning pale pink clusters with the sweetest perfume, several times a year. It could be my favorite. The coral beauty, another gift from Mom is a beautiful coral color and it continues to bud in the fall. She has given me 100’s of stunning blooms this year. I’m blessed. I would even dare to say that perhaps my mother is around me there. I tend to them and pick bouquets and the love that radiates from my heart…it’s beautiful. Just like my Mom. One day, when I blog everyday, I will show my collection of photographs. I’ve taken so many over the years. Thank you Mom. I still collect the beautiful moments because of you mom, I miss you.

Lastly, I must mention my Hydrangea bushes. My obsession really. I purchased a few new Pee Gee bushes out on east end. The growers on the north fork are awesome. The newer ones are ombre like and totally magnificient. Blooming and doubling in size already. My most favorite is from my son Michael. A few years ago, he bought me two bushes for Mother's day. I planted them in the front garden bed. They have tripled in size and produce the most beautiful, purple, pink, blue flowers. I stare at them often. One of my most treasured gifts from him. I have clipped and dried many of his bouquets. I cherish them all. We planted a crepe myrtle after he died. It is slowly rooting and growing and thriving up north here. All of it in honor of our beloved son. I tend to them often. I gently sit there with him and cradle him in my heart and tell him how very much he is loved and missed. I find peace there among the flowers.

Tomorrow we turn the calendar to October. A beautiful, cool, autumn approaches and my bucket list awaits. I drag out the scarecrows, pumpkins and what not. Fall…brings change. The leaves, temperatures, colors, all change. Change. I choose to keep exploring and I roll with it and cherish each day. I am open and my heart is open and my garden gates are always open and in bloom. So get outside today. Plant a flower or a tree or a mum. Pick some pumpkins and let the sunshine warm your soul. I'll be in my gardens filling up mine.



So… it’s been a minute!

Ummmm… Well! Hello Blog land! Oh, I have been admiring you from afar. Waiting for the moment that I can stop and write. Truth is, I read a whole bunch of blogs and busy my mornings with exploring the podcast world. I think I am missing out on sharing my heart, hope & adventures! I should SO be starting my own podcast. I mean, seriously, I can talk and talk about anything & everything. I have a lot to share & I must look further into this! I hope this post finds you smiling. A beautiful, dreamy summer on Long Island. I never want them to end. But, secretly our Autumn/Fall is just as spectacular. A cool breeze & cooler temps snuck up and I heard and saw 100 school buses around town yesterday. The routine, the grind, has returned. I love glancing at the first day of school pics and smiling parents. Memories, they always float back. Just the other day, I passed my sons elementary school and remembered the funniest, sweetest memory. His class was presenting their laminated fathers day project to their class and the parents. Michael was in first grade, maybe 5 years old. His project was a large 11×14 poster that read “Me & My Dad LOVE to shoot off fireworks”. I remember, being stunned. What will the other parents think??? He drew a tiny little picture of him and his Dad lighting off a firework! I still giggle when I think of his honesty and totally, innocently bragging about his irresponsible Dad’s hobby. Priceless.

And now.. some much needed overdue Catch Up!:

Beautiful moments: So…. A couple of weeks ago, another bucket list & my lifelong dream happened. My daughter flew home from Madrid and we hosted a beautiful, elegant wedding and reception for our families. A picture perfect wedding day, brilliant sunshine & breezes and 100 of our family & friends gathered to celebrate her love. The food & drinks & laughter….simply amazing. I glided through the day, with Joy in my heart and watching her sparkle. I had a few private, special moments and stared at her flawless beauty. Watching my baby girl grow, blossom, fall in love….& relocate & live her new life married! to say the least… is very humbling. She was so calm and graceful. My little girl and a grown woman in one. She is living proof that life indeed moves forward. She propels us forward and shows us the light, here, now in the present. Life… indeed, it marches on fiercely. Our only daughter. I dreamed of giving you a fairytale wedding. I prayed you would meet a kind, gentle, loving soul & mate. I wrote a speech for her. I wrote from my heart. A heart that now holds a grateful space. A heart that was once shattered and bleeding…broke into a million pieces…that is mending, gently healing and compelled to still love & give. My journey through grief and rebuilding my new life. In my letter, I shared my dreams with her. I spoke about her brother smiling down and so happy for her. I dreamed of him several times that week. I missed him immensely as well. I had a few moments, missing my granddaughter, missing my son, my parents. I’ve learned how to honor them and connect to them in my spiritual, meditative practices. I do it often and I find my peace within. It’s a practice and there is no end game, just survival.

The day after her wedding, my daughter was feeling a rush of emotions. All that planning, effort, worry, details! Details! Stress & Anxiety…lalala! And of course Poof, & it’s all over so fast. It all went off splendidly. She sits on my chaise and shares her heart and then she says… I missed Mikey.. and I said quietly, I missed him too. We all have our sorrow and crosses to bear. It’s nice to hear that someone is thinking of him and loving him still….Grief is hard. It’s imperative that you talk about it, cry about it and honor them daily.

She has returned to Spain. I am teary for a few days…empty nest and all. I have returned to my gardens and Yoga and following butterflies and photographing the sheer beauty of Long Island. I love to volunteer and craft these days…I write a lot. My first book is almost finished. The next chapter of my life begins to unfold. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time. So unpredictable.. yet, it is nice to embrace “more”.

I am happy to have celebrated this beautiful couple. May they continue to explore the world, and love each other no matter what. The last thing I told them was to practice PATIENCE….it goes along way.

Nice to check in and catch up with ya’ll. I am off to tend to my gardens and flowers.