Sunday, May 12, 2013

I surround myself with your things, your treasures

I cut the stems of your flowers 

I put them in your mothers vase and my heart fills with your love & spirit

I know you’re not here, I yearn to hear your voice

I busy myself and fuss around the house, my mind drifting, remembering you

It’s true what they say; Love is eternal, Love never ends

it simply embeds inside your skin.  I read poems and quotes and I thank

God for my two beautiful children. I surround myself with your photos

I write and share what you’ve taught me. I do the things I love. I spend time

with people who I love and inspire me. I watch shows about healing and

forgiveness and faith. I strive to be humble and kind and grateful. I try

not to dwell in the past. You and daddy taught me to never give up. I 

feel blessed every single day. I don’t take one minute for granted. A few  

years ago, you left this earth and you took a piece of me with you.  In the

days following, I felt your spirit saturate me, guide me, strengthen me, 

comfort me, it was so strong and powerful. I had watched you suffer for days,

I knew you were soaring to heaven, it was so very hard to let you go. 

Today, I picked you a huge bouquet of Lilacs. Just like I did as a child.

The lilac bush you bought me for Mothers Day has 20 breathtaking blooms

I clipped a few for you and again, your spirit roared inside me. I could smell

your perfume and feel your warmth around me. For a moment you were with me

just me & you <3.   Your energy transcended  and cascaded through me. 

I am not surprised. I knew you would always be near me. I knew you would

communicate with me from above. We shared our hearts in the physical 

world, it was no surprise you would reach me from the spirit world.  I tell 

everyone I know, everyone I meet. I am the luckiest girl in the world. I had two

amazing, loving, devoted parents who loved me every single day, every single

moment of my life. The truth is…I loved them even more*

~Happy Mothers Day~~


Today its ok for me to say, I miss my mommy and my bestfriend. 

Another Glorious Day


I will myself to find one beautiful moment each day. I remember to be humbled and thankful for the gift of today. I don’t take things for granted. I learned that many many years ago, when I lost my Dad. I like to think I am like my father in some ways. He was a nature lover, an avid reader, gardener, handyman of sorts. He planned projects and drew his own blueprints. He never just sat and did nothing. He relaxed with a good crossword or a new criminal novel. He enjoyed a hot cup of coffee and a fresh tomato from his garden. He was simplistic, yet profoundly deep. I believe he learned from a very young age that money and possessions fulfill very little in your life. He taught me what truly matters and makes us whole and centered. He was strong with his opinions, abit rough around the edges at times, but I always called him a “realist”. When people would ask his opinion, he would smile and say….”are you sure you wanna hear the truth”. He was short tempered and passionate about loyalty and hardwork. He was a “saver” and it never appeared he yearned for materialistic things. He was strong minded and hardly ever waivered on  his decisions. He called himself  a self made man. Noone greased his pockets or handed him any trophies. He would tell stories about his police work and career. He would easily tell you that he worked every “ghetto” in New York, but there was no place like home. He pursued his own goals and earned a degree in sociology, he was nearly 40 when he completed it. His life was cut short, instantly, 3rd stage small cell lung carcinoma. I looked it up, noone really survives that stage. He went into treatment and promptly died less than a month after he finished. I hated cancer, I still do. I hated the “cure” even more. Somehow in those 7 months of treatment, he had a spiritual awakening inside. Miracles do happen even when you are dying. He taught me many things throughout my life. After I married and had children, he became my advisor, my rock. I trusted him explicitly. I have never felt so safe and loved. I always took his advice to heart. He gave me his strength to deal with all kinds of stress and disappointment. What I miss about him…its a long list. But I can still hear him tell me. Babygirl, you’re doing the right thing. Don’t give in, stand strong and true to yourself. Listen to your head and your heart and stick to your beliefs. He knew my heart. He touched my soul, he lingers around us all. The biggest lesson he taught…True love lingers in the soul forever, eternally. Today Daddy, I take that love with me and hold it close to my heart. 

Enjoy this glorious weekend!  xxxx ~ leelee